Author: Hannah-Lize Elizabeth

The stages of emotional trauma healing from a holistic and spiritual perspective

The stages of emotional trauma healing from a holistic and spiritual perspective

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Emotional trauma can cause us to experience profound pain and suffering, affecting our emotional, psychological, and physical health in drastic ways. Healing from emotional trauma is not an easy journey, but it is possible. Through these mindful approaches and one’s willingness to heal, one can overcome emotional pain and suffering:

Acknowledgment of the Trauma

Navigating the labyrinth of emotional trauma is a journey, one that begins with the crucial step of recognition. In truth, all of us have experienced emotional trauma to some extent. We inhabit a world saturated with toxic behavior and conditional acceptance. This normalization often blinds us to our wounds, leading us to misattribute our symptoms, or dismiss them outright, thinking, “I’m normal.

Anxiety, stress, and occasional low self-esteem are common.” However, while these feelings may seem ‘typical,’ they are neither normal nor necessary experiences. Sometimes, even when we’re aware of our emotional trauma, societal pressures and misconceptions about mental health can lead us to downplay its significance or deny its existence entirely. But remember this: acknowledging our pain and the potential need for help is not a display of weakness, but a testament to our strength. It’s a courageous and essential first stride on the journey towards healing.

Acceptance of Emotions

The second stage of the healing process involves accepting our emotions and the way they affect us and those around us. It is crucial to acknowledge the potentially toxic thoughts and emotions that arise due to our unhealed emotional wounds. This stage can be painful as we may experience intense emotions such as anger, rage, depression, fear, or feeling lost or out of control. But it is essential to accept ourselves for who we are, despite these emotions, without judgment.

I often reassure people that exhibiting these behaviors does not make them a bad person. Although these emotions may be harmful, they are not indicators of our true nature and character. Just like an animal cornered, even the most mild-mannered creature will attack out of fear or cower in submission. Similarly, when we have unhealed wounds, we act to protect ourselves by lashing out or becoming depressed out of a sense of hopelessness.

Understanding the Trauma

This stage involves analyzing the specific impact that trauma has had on your life. People often fail to recognize that they have experienced trauma because they don’t have distinct memories of it. However, it is much easier to identify and understand the remnants of trauma when we develop awareness around our personal emotional or psychological patterns. For instance, if we find ourselves quick to defend ourselves when we are being criticized or believe our beliefs are being challenged, this is an indicator that we feel the need to prove our worth and value. This is because, at some point in our lives, we were led to believe that it’s not okay to make mistakes or be wrong, and by doing so, we are less than.

Another example might be when we have difficulty trusting others and constantly feel the need to be in control of every situation. This could stem from a past event where our trust was betrayed, causing us to build walls around ourselves as a form of protection. Our reactions and behaviors are often a direct result of past traumas that have shaped our beliefs and perspectives.

It’s important to note that trauma doesn’t have to be a major event or experience. It can also stem from smaller, seemingly insignificant events that may have had a significant impact on our lives. These traumas can range from childhood experiences such as being bullied or having strict parenting, to adult experiences like toxic relationships or job loss.

Forgiveness and compassion

Forgiveness and compassion aren’t necessarily “stages” but are necessary ingredients in the process of healing, which involves forgiving and having compassion for oneself and others involved in the trauma. This can be the most difficult part of healing for several reasons:

Holding onto resentment towards what has happened can give us a false sense of power over the situation, especially if we’ve experienced moderate to severe trauma. But resentment, while it may feel justified, is actually causing more harm than good by releasing toxic chemicals in our body, hardening our heart, and preventing us from moving forward.
We may not fully understand what forgiveness and compassion truly mean. Forgiveness is not about saying what happened was okay; it’s about understanding that pain comes from pain. By forgiving others for their projection of pain, we can break the cycle. Similarly, compassion is not about validating a wrongdoing, but about accepting our humanity unconditionally in the face of adversity.
If we have created a false narrative that we were deserving of our experiences, we may find it difficult to accept that we are deserving of love. This false belief can make it difficult for us to forgive ourselves and show self-compassion, as we might believe that these are earned rewards rather than innate human qualities that we all possess.

When we forgive and have compassion, it allows us to detach from what happened and move forward with our healing journey.

Moving Forward

The final stage of emotional trauma healing is indeed about moving forward. This phase invites us to leverage our experiences as stepping stones for growth and personal development, fostering resilience. This process entails nurturing self-awareness, disassociating from past narratives that no longer serve us, and fostering nurturing relationships with ourselves and those around us.

Emotional trauma, while daunting, is not unconquerable. It’s crucial to acknowledge that healing is within reach. This journey of healing demands patience, time, and a commitment to self-improvement. Let us bear in mind that healing is not a destination – it is a journey, a constant process of growth and evolution.

 

​Emotional Intelligence Magazine™

Emotional trauma can cause us to experience profound pain and suffering, affecting our emotional, psychological, and physical health in…

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The Connection Between Intentional Exercise and Mental Well-Being

The Connection Between Intentional Exercise and Mental Well-Being

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Exercise doesn’t have to mean dragging yourself to the gym and putting in hours of cardio. Intentional movement can take many forms: dancing to music, walking outside, playing with pets or children, working around the house, and more. In this post, we’ll examine how intentional exercise can contribute to mental well-being and how it can be woven into everyday life.

Mood-boosting

First, the science. Exercise has been shown to release endorphins, which are chemicals that create feelings of happiness and euphoria. These endorphins can help to reduce stress and anxiety. Moreover, exercise has been found to increase the production of neurochemicals like serotonin and dopamine, essential for mood regulation. In this way, exercise can act as an antidepressant and improve mental well-being. Exercise offers an immediate mood boost and plays a critical role in longevity, as evidenced by those residing in “Blue Zones.”

Improved Lifespan and Happiness

Blue zones are areas in the world where people live long, healthy, and happy lives. One factor contributing to this is a lifestyle that includes intentional movement and activity. The elderly in blue zones engage in activities such as household labor (cooking, cleaning, chopping wood, etc.), gardening, walking, and socializing with friends and family. This underscores how intentional movement is not just important at young ages but can have long-lasting benefits on mental health in old age.

Improved Quality of Sleep

Intentional exercise also plays a significant role in improving sleep quality, which can impact mental well-being. Exercise has been found to help regulate sleep patterns, leading to a more restful and deeper sleep. This, in turn, contributes to greater mental clarity and emotional stability.

Decreased Anxiety and Depression

For those who struggle with anxiety or depression, intentional exercise can provide immediate relief. Engaging in physical activity can act as a distraction and disrupt negative thought patterns. It can also help to create a sense of accomplishment and control, which can be empowering for those struggling with mental health challenges.

An Opportunity to Get Connected with Mind and Body

Finally, making intentional movement a regular part of daily routines also offers an opportunity for mindfulness and connection with the body. It can be an opportunity to tune out distractions and tune in to physical sensations, such as the sound of breathing or the feeling of feet on the ground. This, in turn, promotes greater self-awareness, which is essential for mental well-being.

Incorporating intentional movement into daily life doesn’t have to be a chore. It can be enjoyable and fulfilling. From playing with pets to dancing to gardening, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to intentional exercise. The key is to find activities that work for you and prioritize them. The benefits of intentional exercise for mental well-being are significant and long-lasting. Engaging in physical activity can improve sleep, reduce stress and anxiety, and promote self-awareness.

​Emotional Intelligence Magazine™

Exercise doesn’t have to mean dragging yourself to the gym and putting in hours of cardio. Intentional movement can take many forms:…

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The subtle yet important difference between perception and perspective

The subtle yet important difference between perception and perspective

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Perception and perspective are often used interchangeably in everyday conversations, but they are not the same. While perception refers to how we interpret and understand sensory information, perspective is more about the lens through which we see the world. It is about how we make sense of what we perceive and what we understand about the world we inhabit.

It may seem like a small nuance, but understanding the difference between perception and perspective can be a transformative experience.

Perception and perspective shape our experience of the universe, each playing a unique role. Perception, our internal lens, is molded not only by our inherent nature but also by the external facets of culture, upbringing, and education. Whereas perspective is more fluid, a kaleidoscope shifting with each new interaction and gained knowledge.

A tangible embodiment of perspective lies in the story of Victor Frankl. A distinguished psychologist who endured the atrocities of Nazi concentration camps, Frankl penned ‘Man’s Search for Meaning.’ Frankl’s perspective has been instrumental in understanding the immense power of our perceptions in shaping our reality. From the darkest depths of human experience, he illuminated a path that underlines the importance of meaning, purpose, and perspective in not only surviving but in truly living.

Despite facing despair in the concentration camps, Viktor Frankl’s perspective remained firmly tethered to a sense of purpose. He observed that the prisoners who could hold onto their sense of purpose—be it love for a spouse, the hope of seeing their children again, or dedication to a personal project—were more likely to survive the inhumane conditions. This observation gave birth to Logotherapy, a form of psychotherapy positing that the primary motivational force for humans is to find meaning in life.

In ‘Man’s Search for Meaning,’ Frankl details specific moments from his time in the camps. He found solace in imagining himself lecturing about the psychological experiences in a concentration camp in the future, thereby converting a moment of suffering into a mental victory. This shift in perception fortified him to endure and became the foundation for his influential theories.

One might consider perception and perspective as a dance of cause and effect. Perception being the cause — our interpretation of reality — leading to the effect, our perspective. This perspective then, in turn, crafts our actions, thoughts, and emotions.

While our perception can sometimes confine us, hemmed in by the ego’s myopia, our perspective carries the power to transform—a static mindset, viewing the world as unyielding, results in a narrow perspective. Yet, our perspective widens when we embrace an open mind and welcome the dance of change. Our interaction with the universe deepens, a living canvas of profound experiences.

​Emotional Intelligence Magazine™

Perception and perspective are often used interchangeably in everyday conversations, but they are not the same. While perception refers…

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What are the parenting challenges in the digital age, and how do they impact mental health?

What are the parenting challenges in the digital age, and how do they impact mental health?

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As technology advances, it brings a myriad of parenting challenges that our predecessors never had to face. The internet, social media, video games, and smartphones are constantly in our children’s lives. While they have their benefits, they also present significant challenges, which can have long-standing implications for mental health if not addressed correctly. As parents, we must take on the responsibility of navigating this complex landscape and equip our children with the tools necessary to thrive. And let’s face it: the challenges our children face with technology we, too, are subject to experiencing. So, it is critical that we also police ourselves when using these tools.

The Impact of Technology on the Brain

Emerging research highlights the profound influence of high screen usage on brain structure and functionality, with significant implications for cognition, attention, and mood.

There is an established correlation between intensive technology use and conditions such as Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), typified by sustained periods of inattention and hyperactivity-impulsivity. Extended screen time can remodel the brain’s neural pathways, effectively transforming its composition and operational mechanisms. Furthermore, the bright light emanating from screens, particularly before bedtime, can interfere with natural sleep rhythms, potentially leading to mood disturbances and impacting overall emotional wellness. A concerning aspect is the potential for addictive behaviors, as an over-reliance on and attachment to technology can create a dependence similar to substance addiction.

As parents, we must take the time to monitor our children’s screen time and ensure that it doesn’t interfere with areas of development like critical thinking, creativity, and long-term memory retention.

The Disconnect in Community and Interpersonal Communication

Technology is ironic in that it has allowed us to connect with people worldwide, but it has also created a sense of disconnection within our communities. We and our children are growing up in a world where interpersonal communication is becoming. A lack of social and emotional intelligence results in difficulties in forming meaningful interpersonal relationships. It can also lead to the dehumanization of others as we are more easily able to see ourselves as separate.

Exposure to Polarizing Information and Target Advertising

While exposure to targeted advertising is nothing new, what is new is the level of consumption of these ads. It’s no longer sugary cereals, Happy Meals, and toys being shown to children.  Now, they are being exposed to a vast array of polarizing content, fake news, and propaganda that once were only meant for adults. This exposure can lead to hypersensitivity, anxiety, and confusion about the world and their own identity. Additionally, with algorithms and AI, children are targeted by marketers with personalized advertisements, which can lead to issues around body image, self-esteem, and materialism.

Lack of Downtime and Introspection

Our constant connection to technology means we (adults and children) are always switched on. In children, taking essential moments of downtime and introspection is necessary for healthy brain development, especially in the early years. And for youth and adults, it is critical to our well-being and fulfillment. When we become overly reliant on external stimulation, we begin to neglect our internal world, leading to low self-awareness, anxiety, and depression. As parents, we must model and encourage healthy downtime activities, such as reading, outdoor activities, and breathing exercises that can reduce stress and increase self-awareness.

Remember, children don’t listen to what we say; they follow what we do. If we are not a healthy role model for balancing technology use, our children will unlikely be any better. And this modeling starts at a very young age.

I often notice parents walking with their babies in strollers, but instead of engaging with their child, they are staring at their phones. This behavior not only sends a message to the child that they are not as crucial as our device at that moment but also hinders the natural bond between parent and child, which is essential for developing a healthy connection and brain. As babies grow into toddlers, I observe them clutching tablets as their new security blanket. While this may give parents a sense of peace and temporarily prevent tantrums, it can lead to a dependency on devices to soothe them instead of learning how to deal with boredom and discomfort with resilience and self-management.

So, do you find yourself enabling the above? When you are together as a family, do you and your children spend most of your time fixated on your devices or on fostering meaningful connections and building memories? Remember, change starts with us.

As parents, we must understand the impacts of technology on mental health and implement healthy, holistic habits that can mitigate these effects. By promoting healthy digital habits, downtime, and self-reflection, we can better equip our children to handle the demands of the digital age and, ultimately, foster healthier relationships, cognitive development, and mental well-being.

​Emotional Intelligence Magazine™

As technology advances, it brings a myriad of parenting challenges that our predecessors never had to face. The internet, social media,…

Read More

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